LIFE ON THE ASIAN ROAD

What could be more fascinating than setting off to another country on a budget without an itinerary, and no contacts to run to in case of emergency? Admittedly, most people would rather sit this one out, preferring to travel with loads of cash, stay at a five-star hotel right at the city center, have trained guides herding you off to the air-conditioned malls for shopping, and merely read about other traveler's heroic exploits in discovering the unknown nooks and crannies of the planet.

This is precisely why former Business World columnist Ted Lerner's latest literary offering should be a hit among these "arm-chair travelers."

The Traveler and the Gate Checkers: Sex...Death...Life! On the Road in Asia is a 253-paged compilation of Mr. Lerner's personal experiences traveling around Asia . While most people prefer to know exactly what to expect where they are headed for, Mr. Lerner embarks on one journey after another that allows him to follow the road others fear to tread - be it the notorious Chunking Mansions of Hong Kong or following the trail of die-hard fans to a make-shift wrestling arena on a rice field somewhere in Tokyo.

He begins, however, with The Traveler and the Gate Checkers - an essay on the observations of a seasoned traveler regarding the bureaucracy one has to deal with to be able to hop from one destination to another.

  "My travels had led me to the conclusion that life is nothing more than dealing with gate checkers. Gate Checkers? Yes, you know, the people who are put somewhere and given the authority to decide whether or not to let you pass," he says.

 "Gate checkers are the people who are given a position to occupy, ordered to do as they're told, directed to pass judgment on all who try to pass and make sure that things stay the same as they are. They are the ones who throw obstacles in your path just when you are starting to get on a roll. By nature they are hardly free thinkers with open minds. Invariably, gate checkers are flunkies," he continued.

Admittedly, the experience is a universal one. No matter how well you know your purpose for travel, and no matter how clean your intentions are, one tends to experience a sudden bout of Alzheimer's when a gate checker, i.e. immigration officer, begins to ask personal questions with eyebrows tightly knitted.

 But Mr. Lerner gives interesting advise on dealing with them as well. Gate checkers, he explained, truly believe that they are important figures of authority. It will not do well to make them feel any less. Helplessness is the key. They need to feel needed. And if you allow them to direct you - even though you already know what to do - they would often simply let you pass without any hitches.

The book moves on to discuss Mr. Lerner's various travels around Asia . He begins with India where he roamed the markets with his Filipina wife, Au, in tow - thereby, guaranteeing that all the purchases are made at almost 50% off the tag price.

 "I fade into the background and let Au take the control," he writes. "'Come on,' Au cries in mock annoyance. 'It's in the middle of summer. There are no tourists around. Just take the money and wrap them up.' Which, after several more minutes of haggling, is exactly what he does. He has been turned to jelly. Au's wish has become his command."

 In Tokyo , he writes a very interesting analysis of the Japanese professional wrestling, which he explains is far more different from it's U.S. counterpart. Japanese pro wrestling or puroresu is as real as wrestling can possibly get. It focuses more on the technical skills rather than on the show. Puroresu fans appreciate wrestling as a sport - applauding the wrestlers for how well they execute the moves rather than for how well they are able to sell the moves to the audience.

 In between glasses of stake(rice wine) and rounds with the karaoke machine singing Karen Carpenter's songs at the top of his lungs, Mr. Lerner gives a detailed look into this popular Japanese pastime while giving insights on the local culture as well.

Hong Kong, Laos , and the Philippines are not spared from his commentary. And though he gives historical data, the stories are told in a casual manner, sparing the reader from the history book approach that tends to lecture than tell a story.

 It must be made clear that the book is not a "praise" release, citing only the positive things. Far from it, Mr. Lerner does not have any qualms about pointing out customs and systems that he feels are completely ridiculous. But neither are these pointless tirades against the Asian nations mentioned. Though he tackles the shoddy and depressing site, he tries to understand why the ridiculous actually works in certain places. The context is always taken into consideration, leaving locals laughing at

Mr. Lerner's experiences - including being threatened by a knife by a hotel receptionist in Laos .

By Giselle P. Kasilag, Published in the Manila Times newspaper